I know what you’re thinking- well duh! Of course kids need to share! Okay wait a minute- what if your daughter wants a barbie doll and son wants a monster truck? What if it’s a one-person game? What about the lack of a personalized gift that makes them feel really special on Christmas morning?
Believe it or not “sharing” is not a universal belief that all parents are teaching these days. I remember clearly the day I was scolded for disciplining my daughter for not sharing. I was baffled thinking that it was an obvious part of my role as her mother. However, I was told that sometimes even adults don’t want to share things. This well-meaning mother told me that she wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing her wedding ring with me, so why should my daughter have to share her valuables. It is however, my strong belief that we, as parents ( and dare I say- society) should still be teaching our children to share. It is a foundation and first step to understanding empathy and basic kindness. Additionally, there are a lot of benefits-for the whole family- to having the kids share their Christmas gifts that you may not have realized.
The simple answer is YES, siblings can definitely share Christmas gifts and there are a lot of benefits for the whole family to having the kids share their Christmas gifts that you may not have realized. Check out our tips below about how making a few simple changes can save your kids some arguing, save you from having to discipline and even save some money on your holiday budget.
Tip 1- Gender Specific Gifts:
This year my son asked for a bow and arrow and my husband found an awesome basketball hoop and tee ball set for him as well. Gender specific at first glance, but, wait a minute. My daughter loves basketball and I could beat my hubby any day with a bow and arrow (consider yourself challenged babe).
Here’s where I’d be careful with those: Beware of characters and colors.
In my experience in the classroom and at home, the challenge comes when the item is hot pink or plastered with Spiderman. Although it may get more of their excitement at first glance (that’s why the marketing department does it), I have found that if you stick to neutrals it is often enjoyed more by both your son and daughter will not only work for different genders but also more ages. Whether you are discussing colors, superheroes or movie characters, kids rarely have the same favorites for more than a few weeks. For that reason, if you buy a toy plastered with Spiderman images and then tomorrow your son decides that the Hulk is his favorite, you have just limited the fun of that toy to only last as long as their excitement about Spiderman. My daughter is quick to judge toys as being “too baby” for her if it has Care Bears or princesses on it but will beg for the same toy with a cute cat on it. Kids will often outgrow the character faster than they outgrow the actual functionality of the toy.
Whenever possible, buy something that can be enjoyed through all of their stages and different favorites by picking the bike or backpack or skateboard or coloring set without a movie character decorating the box. They will play with it for longer and save you money by doing so.
Tip 2- Replace Christmas comparing with sharing before the gifts are even opened!
Here’s what always seems to happen with presents under the tree at our house. Days before the actual day arrives while they are delicately sorting their gifts by the name on the tag- it immediately feels like a comparison and competition. I’m pretty confident I’m not the only parent who immediately feels bad for the child with the smaller pile of gifts. Without even having a clue about what’s inside- somehow the size of that colorful box can emit some strong feelings! So, like any good parent, I try to equalize the piles…which quickly becomes an ongoing mess and impossible to stay within budget. The result is often too much money on presents that don’t last.
If there is such competition before the gifts are even opened, trying to get them to share once they are unwrapped will be even harder!
Imagine with me that same budget, or even the same exact gifts but with each tag reading both child’s names. The whole feeling about the present changes. Now the excitement is shared and not compared. The best part, however, is that when the gift is opened, sharing is never even an issue because from the very beginning they know the gift is for both of them.
Tip 3- Better gifts that stick to the budget.
Additionally, when the gift budget for two children is combined, the box and excitement is much bigger than any single gift could be. When they get older and their gifts become more of a request than a surprise, they can understand that if they are willing to share the gift than mom is able to buy a much better toy!
Tip 4- Personalize with smaller gifts
A personal touch on Christmas is not something to be undervalued. It can be really important to make sure kids know that they are loved and seen as who they are individually. We try to keep personalized items on the smaller side or use them as stocking stuffers when possible and have the bulk of their gift something something that can be enjoyed together.
Tip 5- So what IS the best SHARED Christmas gift?
Our ultimate favorite shared Christmas toy was the year we got a bounce house for the kids. Of course it came in a large box so the excitement was high from the beginning and the wrapping was big enough for both to go crazy on Christmas morning. We got one with primary colors so it was gender neutral and lasted for years. There was no battery charging, small pieces or set-up required so the gift never lost excitement from the moment their eyes lit up with the huge box to the big eyes as the bounce house inflated for the first time in our living room.
I love that the kids can play on it together and nobody has ever claimed any kind of ownership or boss of the toy. There are so many different games and ways to play on the bounce house that it allows their creativity to grow with their age and the bounce house activity can match their ability.
The same bounce house has been loved during a boy’s playdate with a group of my son’s friends and a group of girls with my daughter and then of course playing together.
So if you want less competition and arguing this Christmas season- or for the months of playing after, try getting one large gift for the kids to share instead of dividing everything under the Christmas tree.